It used to amaze me how my mother could sit still and do nothing at a table. I used to consider it strange behaviour to be doing nothing besides smoking a cigarette and sipping tea. As an adult, that can sit at a table with nothing but a cigarette and a cup of coffee, I now understand exactly what she was doing. As children we do not understand how the minds of adults work. I sit alone and still with the whole weight of my life for company, as, I guess, my mother often did. The table is full, all seats are taken and as one faithful heavyweight shifts out, another steps in to take its place.

I look down at my coffee cup to avoid the burning glare of Regret searing into me from the opposite end of the table. I didn’t see him take his seat but I know he has come – even before I felt his stare, I felt my tummy drop fast as though I’d taken a hill at speed. He always comes with such penetrative force so I am not at all surprised but I still try, every time, to delay acknowledging him for as long as possible.

I trace the flat petals of a porcelain rose, still staring down, focused on my cup as if the fate of some brilliant human depended upon my accuracy and I realise that jealousy has joined the party. She hasn’t come for a long time and I can’t help but briefly furrow my brow at her presence. She takes her seat with a subtle elegance that I admire. The heat on me lifts as I feel Regret shift away towards her and I know he cannot help but find her intoxicating; drawn in by the power she is known for.

Discontent knows no such subtlety. He bursts in, unapologetically, raging and thrusting his weight at the place next to me. Regret moves his attention from Jealousy, skims past me, and meets the eyes of Discontent. The pair nod in acknowledgment and omit thin-lipped smirks of mutual satisfaction.

Now all seats are taken I understand that nothing at all depends on the accuracy of my traced lines .

“You all need to leave. I don’t have time for this shit.”

“Really?” asks Regret “That’s funny, I’m quite sure we’re here because you invited us.”